How China Has Managed to Alienate Everyone Around Him
by The3819thBatman
Summary: Sure, China loves rules! When they favor the CPC. China is brainwashed & gets a sick pleasure out of making arbitrary or unwritten laws, seeing someone accidentally break them, & throwing them to the wolves. But when there are international rules and regulations going against the CPC's wishes, even Chapter 2 of his own constitution... well, let's just say those get ignored.


Japan

Mao: "(Japan) doesn't have to say sorry, you had contributed towards China. Because had Imperial Japan not started the war of invasion, how could we communists became mighty powerful? How could we stage the coup d'état? How could we defeat Chiang Kai Shek? How are we going to pay back you guys? No, we do not want your war reparations! … Those Japanese were real good. Without Japanese's help, China's [Communist] revolution would not have suceeded. I said the same thing to a Japanese, a capitalist, by the name of Nanxiang Sanlang. He kept on saying: 'Sorry, we did invade China.' I said to him: 'Don't say that, on the contrary, Japanese helped us (Communist) in a big way', especially Japanese warlords and the Japanese Emperor… if there was ever a need to say thank you, I'd like to say thank you to the Japanese…"

 _Today_

"Japan! You are nothing but a threat to our society! Apologize for your war crimes, aru!"

"What? First of ar, don't use that dumb verbar tick when you speak Engrish. Second, what happened to the words of Mō Takutō, anyway?"

Today in China, you will find anti-Japanese sentiment everywhere. The People seem to forget about Mao's words! Many movies about the Second Sino-Japanese War (WWII) are produced, showing the PLA massacring Japanese "devils" (though most of the work and suffering was that of the KMT who retreated to Taiwan). There is even a theme park where People can participate in reenacting the war (as the PLA, not the ROC army). Also, Japanese people and dogs are banned from certain places. And just this year, the PRC commemorated the 70th anniversary of a war they didn't do shit in. Of course, Mao's words of thanks were justified, or something, as the ROC army was not rebuilt to the point of war again. The Communists rebuilt their army and easily defeated the Nationalists.

North Korea

Kim, the sexiest man alive (according to the Onion _and_ the People's Daily), only has China as his friend. During the Korean War, the UN was confused because they found themselves mostly fighting PLA troops and not DPRK troops. By the way, the PLA stands for People's Liberation Amy. They sure do their job to liberate the people from freedom, democracy, thought, opinion, and in some cases, life.

South Korea

Sometimes you'll still see Korea write in hanja, or Chinese characters.

Capitalist pigs! Though they are both Han people, China sees the ROK as a threat and not true Hans. Or something.

"You may be the oldest nation, but I created everything!"

"Screw you!"

Mongolia

Which one? Inner Mongolia is the northern region of the PRC bordering Mongolia and is famous for the Great Wall. Of course, the Great Firewall can be seen from everywhere in China except Hong Kong and Macau. Also, you yaoi fans know Mongolia as the original cock-block.

Vietnam

Vietnam used to write in Chinese characters, too (Chữ Nôm) until Alexander de Rhodes from the Society of Jesus brought over Latin characters and added some diacritics with the accent marks.

China gave some minor support to Vietnam during the American War. Yeah. That's what it's called in Nam, Smokey. Relax, mate, no rules here! Anyways, only four years passed after the end of the war and the "liberation" of Saigon before border disputes started, culminating in China winning a gate or something. Then there are the Spratly and Parcel Islands (that's their name, right?) in the South China Sea, but we'll save that for later. China and Vietnam's relations are tense, and Vietnam looks to America as an ally and friend. After all, she did beat him and force him into a state of sadness only destroyed by success in the Gulf War.

"What do you think about the capitalist enemies, Viet Nam?"

"I think we can peacefully coexist."

China banged his head on the table, which leads us into the next relationship.

Russia

Russia was turned into an oppressive dummy by a person. It was China who had turned into a devil because of Russia, and turned North Korea into his spawn. Laos and Vietnam? Nah. Cuba? Russia's fault. Anyways, it was the 60's. Or 70's. WHAT.

"What do you think about my plan to eradicate capitalism, Russia?"

"Eh? Well, I was simply planning to coexist with capitalism. Soon we'll do so much better than those pigs that everyone will turn away from them and become one with me, да."

China lost another friend. After the Soviet Union exploded and Russia became somewhat democratic and somewhat capitalist, China and he still remained weary.

Laos

If Vietnam wouldn't be China's friend, he's kinda got Laos, too.

The Middle East

Want nothing to do with him because of his mistreatment of Uyghurs.

India

Want nothing to do with him because he claims most of Arunachal Pradesh and some of Assam as his own, and mistreats Tibet.

Tibet

Liberated in 1950, hates China with a passion. Often escaped to India or Taiwan before being forcibly brought back.

The PRC claims to have an NGO within its borders called... something something China Preservation of Tibetan Culture. It just so happens they're HQ'd near their jobs at the government (United Work Front! Thing! I really need to do research). How do they do it? By leaving Tibet with only 8 monasteries, down from many thousands before "liberation" and preventing them from speaking their language in school.

South China Sea

China claims almost all of the sea, attempting to back it up by building artificial islands on just underwater reefs. Nobody cares. If Sealand ain't a country, China's islands ain't islands! Who else claims the sea that's obviously the PRC's?

Let's see… oh, just Malaysia, Singapore, Vietnam, Indonesia, Brunei, possibly Papua New Guinea, the Phillipines, Japan, and Taiwan.

Then there are the Diayou, or Senkaku, Islands. You can guess that China and Japan are glaring at each other over these ones. They are a bunch of uninhabited rocks, but China is willing to send in the PLA to take them. Taiwan also claims them, but China claims Taiwan, so…

Taiwan

"I hate you, bastard!"

"Please, Taiwan, come back to me!"

"NO!"

China hugged Taiwan, crying for her to return to him. Taiwan struggled to free herself. Eventually America and Japan set her free and shooed China away. Doesn't China have enough land? Why does he want Taiwan so badly? We know Taiwan calls herself the Republic of China. But why would China be willing to take her back by force if she declared herself independent as Taiwan?

Hong Kong

China is getting tired of being rejected by Hong Kong whenever he tries to eradicate their "freedoms." Try as he might, he can't prevent HK from holding memorials for something that was just an incident! The one on June 4th.

Macau

Rarely spoken about as much as Hong Kong, your daddy usually visits this place when he's on a "business trip." It says something how many "'s are used in this story. Actually, China doesn't have too much presence here, so if you want to visit PR China, just visit Macau.

America

While having a lot of KFC and McDonald's locations around the country and making a shit ton of products for America, who thinks China is cool, China is always spreading Anti-American feelings, from classic propaganda posters to racial slurs against America's boss.

Phillippines

You know what they say - when you make enemies with China

You make a whole lot of friends.

America: "I think China is annoying!"

So who joins him?

All the countries above.

 _The PRC has been compared to Nazi Germany as much as the DPRK has - single-party states claiming to be for the people but clearly corrupt - and China is testing the waters (South China Sea) to see how far it can go before someone gets butthurt and goes to war with their ass, one way or another._

 **China bashing? Nah... it's all cool. What we can do is pray for the 2 billion+ worldwide who live in oppressed or poor places. My idea of China today is that he is still brainwashed.**


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